i'm happy

this summer i've had a lot of time to myself, and i have learned to accept it and deal with it. in the past, alone time has been my enemy. i hated being alone, and i was instantly in a bad mood when i knew i would be spending a night by myself. i am the type of person who loves to go out, who loves to be with people and hates boredom. whiles i still love to go out and be surrounded by friends and action, i have accepted the fact that only i can make myself happy. before i can be happy spending time with anyone else, i first had to learn to be happy by myself. so, this summer i have spent a lot of time working on my patience, and i have taught myself how to be happy on m own. not only have i learned to be happy by myself, i have also learned that being alone is not the end of the world. i used to think that the only way i wouldn't be bored was if i was surrounded by other people and doing things. i have found that is not the case. i can be by myself and still have fun too.

the biggest thing i have learned through all of this is that you will not be truly happy until you can learn to make yourself happy. no amount of friends or guys you know or how many dates you go on is going to make you truly happy until you have learned to be happy alone. YOU are the only person that can make you happy, not others.

it took me so long to learn this and accept it. 19 years in fact. but, this summer has taught me above all that being alone is okay. and not only is it okay, i can be happy while being alone too.


i'm back

i've missed writing. writing has always been a way for me to work out my feelings when the inside of my head got too jumbled. over the last year, i haven't blogged much. my life picked up pace and blogging got pushed to the back burner while i was busy living my life. i've done a lot of thinking and i want blogging to be a part of my life again. i want to make the time to write out my thoughts so one day i can look back and see how much i've grown and changed.

i wont bother going back and writing out everything that's happened over the last few months. they have been months used for maturing, growing and hold memories dear to my heart. some really great things have happened over the past months, and i have written them all out, from start to finish and i had planned on publishing them, but i think i'll keep them in my drafts for now.

with the past in the past, i am going to start blogging about my life in the now. it's time i start writing again because i find that the more i write, the more i learn about myself. i am ready for this.

let's start from today. although many things in my life have changed, i'm still the same old me. for example, today i drove my boss' truck and crafted a little bit for my apartment. i am still melia, i still love the same things but i have also learned a lot of lessons and have set high goals for myself. and blogging is one of them.

so, without further adieu, lets get little country started again.



oh hey, it's been a minute so i thought i'd give you a slight update.
i moved back home from utah state for the summer, and for the last month i have been job searching like a crazy woman. i finally found work and that has been taking up most of my time. on the side i have been planning bridal showers and bachelorette parties. my best friend gets married in 6 days. i am so happy for her and i absolutely love the family she is marrying into. but, that is a complicated story for another time. my roommate ashley is leaving on her mission in a few weeks and i went to her farewell yesterday. it was super good to catch up with all of my friends from college. strawberry days is right around the corner and i'm not sure if i should be proud or embarrassed that my very best friend is going to be apart of the rodeo clown act this year. anyway, there is my life update in a few sentences. i wish it was august so i could move back up to logan. the end.


its been 10 days.

i never thought i'd actually say that i miss school. i have been at home for 10 days. thats 10 days that i haven't been in logan, 10 days that i haven't seen my roommates or hung out with jessica. its been over a week since i've stepped foot on campus. and you know what? i miss utah state like crazy. freshman year was the hardest year of my life, but it was also the greatest. i miss everything about school. i can't wait to get back up there in the fall and see everyone again. as hard as college is, and as much papers i have to write, i enjoy it so much.
i'm torn. as much as i love summer, i'm just ready for school to start again.
oh utah state, i love you so much.


stopping to catch my breath


my life has been nothing but a whirlwind recently. the days have blended together into one big blur and i couldn't tell you what i was doing a week ago. my days have been jam packed with fun and friends. the last few weeks have been outrageously busy. i've realized that as much as i wish, my life ain't slowing down. this fast pace is the new me.

the past few weeks have been a hurricane of emotions, but i am recovering. today is the first day in weeks that i haven't been bombarded with things to do. and honestly, i really just need to sit by myself for a few days and process everything that happened the last little while. i finally have a few minutes to myself, and i am going to soak it up.

now that i am home for the summer, it is time to get ready for angie's wedding, make summer plans and find a job. here i go again.

p.s. i haven't been home for even a week and i already miss logan so much. i cant wait until the fall to go back!


wrapping things up

my freshman year at utah state is coming to a close. while it has undoubtedly been the hardest year of my life, it has also been the most rewarding. from learning new things and learning about myself to meeting the most amazing people, this year has been full of ups and downs. i failed a few tests, skipped a few classes, got lost a number of times and wrote dozens of papers. i met some unbelievable people and found my best friend. i shared some amazing kisses and laughed until i cried. i learned to live on my own, and how to accept people for who they are.
i remember before the school year started, i was so worried about not having any friends, wondering if utah state was right for me and even wondering if i should go to school. a year later, i know with clarity that this is the right place for me. logan utah has become my home. while i still miss pleasant grove, logan is my favorite place to be. freshman year has been the greatest year of my life, and i am so sad to see it end. it is going to be hard for me to pack up my things as i'm moving out this week.
as this year ends, i am already excited out of my mind to start my sophomore year. i hope this summer flies by so i can move into my new apartment and start making memories with my future roommates. i'm already so excited for aggie football and everything else that comes along with a new school year. i am so happy that i chose to become an aggie. it has been the greatest decision i have ever made.


lucky me

let me just talk about this girl for a minute.
i am so glad that she got put into my life. she came into my life at the exact perfect time and its obvious that our friendship was meant to me. being a freshman in college, knowing no one, this girl stepped into my life and quickly became my best friend. it usually takes me a while to warm up to people, but she gave me a hug the first time we hung out and i'll never forget that. we instantly clicked and things have been great ever since. i'm so glad that she got put into my life at the time she did. everything fit so perfectly, and we became friends so smoothly. i'm proud that i get to call her my best friend and i am so blessed to be able to go through this phase of my life with her. going through this whole college experience with her is seriously the funnest thing ever. we just get each other, and its so easy to have fun with her. she holds my secrets, laughs at my jokes and best of all, she gives me a big dose of reality when i need it. any person that can keep up with my crazy boy drama is a keeper. she is my best friend and i am so glad i have her. i can not wait to live with her next year, and see what the future has in store for us. i'm sure it will have something to do with a lot of country boys and long drives. i know that we will be those kinds of friends that send christmas cards to each other thirty years down the road, and my kids will point and ask who is that? and i will tell my kids about my crazy best friend that i met at utah state. love you jess.