im in love

no im not in love with this weather, in fact i hate it. more than anything.
if there is one thing i hate, its cold weather. because first off im ALWAYS cold. not kidding you.
second of all, its just cold and it sucks. who wants to be cold?
if i could choose one season it would be summer because the hotter, the better. i love heat.
this has nothing to do with my post but i just thought id share.

but.. i am in love with my peer tutor class.
today, precisely, i fell in love. i realized i have a smile plastered on my face the entire period.
those kids are absolutely amazing.
it is definitely my favorite class of this year. the kids are so darn smart.
it hurts my feelings too, when they get made fun of.
they didnt choose to live this life, and they shouldnt be put down for that. they are people with feelings.
they are just as smart, as if not smarter than us. they were put in a different body for a reason.
god knows they are special. i know they are special too.
they were too special to be put in a normal body. i honestly feel the spirit in that room.
they are so sweet, so friendly and so happy.
and today, Trenton was being so nice to me. he made me feel real good about myself.
i love that class.

i really like it when grammy comes in the room and asks me,
"is something wrong? are you sure your stomach is the only thing bothering you?
because you dont seem very happy lately."
i say "no im fine."

ding ding ding. grandma hit the nail right on the head.
grandmas, so wonderful. but im never going to admit
anything is wrong. because they all know whats wrong.


the time has come

 i just got me a pair of these

after about a year of waiting i finally got a pair.
ive wanted a pair of boots so dang bad.
but they didnt have my size so i had to order them. but i already paid for them so in about one week ill be wearing these things around town.

angie also got her first pair of boots a few days ago

look at those cuties!

now me and angie both have our first pair of boots and we will be wearing them around school in no time.

my boots are Ariats
and angies are Justins

i cant wait to wear them!

mmm mmm good.

i suggest that all of you buy these.

the best dang thing in the world.
im eating one while i type this sentance.
a lil' bit of salty, a lil' bit of sweet. its delicious.


oh the places you will go.

my history teacher asked our class a question the other day "if you could go anywhere in the US where would you go and why?" for some odd reason ive been thinking about this question over the last couple days and i keep adding more and more places to my list.

Charlotte, North Carolina- for the nascar race of course
Washington D.C.- i really loved it there
Ground Zero- just amazing, well its not amazing what happened there but im sure the feeling there is over-whelming.
Hawaii- who doesnt love a nice beach and perfect weather?
Alaska- i want to try fishing.
Daytona Beach, Florida- nascar.
Talladega, Alabama- yet again, nascar.
Texas- who doesn't love a hot cowboy and a good rodeo?
New York City- shopping spree!

if you could go anywhere in the U.S., where would you go and why?


mixed emotions.

you mind as well just call today "the good the bad, and the ugly"
i was in a strange mood all day.

the good
tomorrow i have my peer tutor class
i got two new shirts
spencer carpenter asked me to lunch tomorrow
i love how cailey comments on my blog & how
she makes an effort to say hello at school!
no homework

the bad
my b-days are super boring
willy has fallen off the face of the earth
im super tired
my face is dry.
school pictures went terribly wrong
we have spaghetti for dinner too much
dad is in disneyland right now without me.

the ugly
and hes only in provo.
when he goes on a mission in a few months im in deep trouble.
seriously who knew life without my brother would be so hard.
i woke up this morning and the first thing i thought was "that bedroom next to mine is empty."


a gift from god.

let me just tell you. i love special needs kids.
i am a peer tutor at our school, ive only been once but i absolutely love it in that class.
and ive already gotten to know the kids so well.
all of them are so sweet, they just barely met me but they treat me like their best friend.
they are all so happy to be there and to learn. they are so friendly.
i probably learn more from them, than they learn from me.
i absolutely love them and its only been a day.
ive always loved special needs kids though, i love when my ward goes to the mental hospital and takes them to church. they all have such sweet spirits. one of my best friends name is willy, hes handi capt too and hes amazing! i visit willy almost every day. ive always had a special place in my heart for these people. they are just so sweet.  

im going to love this class.
my favorite kids in that class are jordan and nathan.
jordan is a sweetheart. he is so nice and happy.
he always wants to talk to you.
he loves sports and baseball. when he gets older he wants to coach baseball.
he loves to participate and he loves to be with his friends. he also has a great sense of humor.
he really is the sweetest guy ever.

nathan can make me laugh my head off.
he is so smart, smarter than i am.
he could memorize the whole phone book if he wanted to.
he loves making new friends and he is so friendly! he is a great artist
and he is so much fun to be around!

trenton is great too, they are all great.
trenton doesnt talk much, but he loves my hair! he played with it all of class.
which makes me feel good (: he pretty much shook my hand the whole
class period. hes so friendly and curious to know whats going on around him!

i cant wait to get to know my new friends some more, they are all so great!



i think im in love

the smell of diesel.. nothing like it.
never gets old.

please someone buy me this truck.


the time has come

my one and only sibling is leaving for college on wednesday.
he is going to BYU for a few months and then hes going on a mission.
now im going to be stuck at home by myself with my parents, it was there great idea to only have two kids.
i get to be bored and home alone 80% of the time because both my parents work.
this is going to be real good.

i cant believe palmer is going to college. i mean he still plays video games all the time..
i wonder how hes going to survive. i dont think he even knows how to make something to eat.
i hope hes still alive in a few months.
me and palmer never talked growing up and we still dont talk. but hes my only sibling.
i will miss him.
i mean no one else will laugh when i make fun of mom and dad. i guess i just get to laugh at my own jokes. this is going to be weird without him here. i wont be hearing the sound of video games coming from the basement. or him humming his favorite tunes. there will be no more famous "brawl parties" at my house anymore. its going to be a house without nintendo, its going to be so weird.
my house will be quiet now to say the least.
now its just me and my kitty.

good luck at college palmer and im going to miss you!

good luck palms

on another note....
i love this thing.


a whole lotta nothing.

thats basically whats happening with my life right now, absolutely nothing. besides sitting on the computer and texting thats about all i do. im almost relieved that school is here so i dont have to sit at home all day and be depressed about how boring my life is. well, most nights im out doing something fun, but the day time is absolutely dreadful. i have watched 5 seasons of the office this summer, no biggie. most nights i went fishing, or hung out with some boys. this summer ive had some pretty good laughs, most of them being over michael scott from the office. this summer was by far the worst summer ive ever had in my entire life. summer 09 could you please just come back? i did have some good memories though. i went on alot of family vacations, which was good but i didnt get enough of that partying and hanging out with my friends kinda memories. i didnt get to stay out late and have good laughs. i probably cried more this summer than i hung out. this summer was a bummer. hey that rhymed. but really this summer was mostly a blur i dont really remember what i did. heres some stuff i did.

arizona, nuff said.
ghost hunting
washington dc
girls camp.
lots and lots of trips to walmart
lots and lots of the office
getting my license
i turned 16, i did nothing for my birthday.

okay thats enough of me being a downer.


mother nature, your crazy.

why is utah weather so bi polar? honestly.
it was pouring rain this morning, and thundering.
it was cold like fall weather. (blehh)
and then thirty minutes later its sunny and hot.

absolutely ridiculous.

anyways while it was pouring buckets i was driving.
i could have turned my car into a boat, probably.
i was driving with Angie like any two best friends would do.
 i couldn't see jack squat because of the rain so i was going pretty slow.
well not slow enough because we hit this huge puddle, which was totally camouflaged.
water washed over my poor jeep like a wave. i couldn't see a darned thing.
it was pretty much like going through a car wash, except we were moving.  
at this point we were both screaming like children. but thats okay.
just in case your wondering i did keep both hands on the wheel during this madness.
what seemed like 10 seconds later, i could finally see the road again.
well actually the first thing i saw was a dodge truck coming straight for us.
don't worry, i avoided that crash like a champ.
it was raining so hard it could of probably started a flash flood, too late, there was pretty much one in the road already.

lots of things were screamed
"stop the madness!"
"were going to die"
"drive through that puddle!"
"i cant see a dang thing"
none the less, that rain storm was epic. yes i did just use the word epic.
dont worry mom, im a great driver (:


death wish.

a death wish. that's what school is.
its a jail cell, i like to imagine.
forced to go there against our own will and we cant get out.
were locked in
its torture.
sitting through six hours of lectures
and immature girls and boys.
raging hormones and drama queens,
jocks and nerds, stoners and everything in between.
i absolutely hate school
and i don't even like the friend part.

to my dismay, school starts in 8 days.
its absolutely frightening.
where did summer go?
school is really a bummer. on the bright side Mr Sanderson is my math teacher again and hes my favorite. that class will be a real treat. I'm also a peer tutor, i love special needs people, they are also my favorite. and on top of that good news i am taking nursing classes at MATC, your looking at your next certified nurse assistant right here.

school, im ready to tackle you like a beast.


mind bottling, or boggling.

Mind-bottling, isn't it?
Did you just say mind-bottling?
Yeah, mind-bottling. You know, when things are so crazy it gets your thoughts all trapped, like in a bottle?

thats how i feel right now. i feel like i have writers block, and im not even a writer.
so once my brain starts working again ill make a new post.

in the mean time, enjoy this hottie


get out of my way, im royalty

just kidding, i really wasnt 2nd attendant. but my lovely cousin Kelby was. we got to ride around in a golf cart around the fair because royalty got a cart to drive. the washington county fair was a good time. i spent two straight days there. having your cousin being royalty really has its perks. lets recap the weekend.

i spent 18 hours at the fair
i saw many hot cowboys. in fact way to many for my health
i watched a hypnotist. it almost scared me
i didnt have to walk anywhere because we had a golf cart
i rode every single carnival ride at least twice.
kelby got over 500$ worth in carnival tickets.
i ate alot of greasy unhealthy food
i had a huge delicious drink called the texas twister
i went to a demolition derby
i sold things at my cousins karens booth
i sat alot.
it was super hot.
i drank 5 water bottles.
i saw clancy and chantel at the derby.

i almost didnt get into the derby because it was sold out. a sweet man sold us his tickets, we barely got in. it was so much fun. me and my cousin got a police officer to give us a ride across the fair grounds because we were to lazy to walk. we got everything for free because my cousin was royalty. i had a really good time. i spent the entire weekend with my dads family and i had a lot of fun. it was super hot though.

we really werent going that fast on the golf cart

barren wasteland dessert carnival


fair fun

with  my cousin kelby




over all it was a good long sun filled weekend.
and yes i am listening to the tarzan soundtrack on my computer right now.


dads side of the family

im leaving to st george today with my daddy.
it will be a glorious weekend full of family fun.

me and my cousin kelby will probably go find some boys from dixie state.
maybe go hot tubbing at college boys house
maybe ride a six person bike down the hills in st george
maybe go disco bowling with josh and karissa
we will probably drive around late at night with college boys in the car
may just go swimming in the back yard
ill probably get sun burnt.
maybe we will go to the parade because kelby is first attendant to miss st george this year.
did i say we will be hanging out with lots of college boys?

I'm bummed chris and marta will not be there with their adorable baby eva. chris and marta are usually the ones that make my whole trip worth it. they are hilarious.
my dads side is disFUNctional to say the least.
no doubt about it this weekend will be a fun, very immature one knowing my dads side of the family.
we like dry humor and inappropriate jokes, which make me laugh.

kelby will probably have lots of stories to tell about her various boyfriends.

it will be a great weekend.


my dads side of the family.

oh and in case you are all wondering, my gary allan tickets arrived in the mail the other day. and i couldn't be more excited! 34 more days till the wildest night of my life!

its going to be insane

cya sunday!


i am definitely leaving for st george tomorrow.
am i excited? yes.
i can not wait to get out of this city and get some fresh air. Ive had a long week.
im going to make a list of things that i like
because i like lists.

  • i like my cat
  • i like men with facial hair (not to much)
  • i like when i go to cabelas, reams and cal ranch all in the same day
  • i like when i buy a eight dollar shirt from reams
  •  i do like country boys. they are so nice and respectful.
  • i like day dreaming. i do it alot.
  • i like to day dream that im happy. because in reality im not.
  • i like sandwiches
  • i like new school clothes
  • i like that my brother is going to byu soon and hes going to get a life.
  • i DISLIKE that my brother is leaving me and i will be an only child.
  • i like earings
  • i like that school is going to start soon.

i like this picture



i wish i could nap like a cat.


im not ubsessed

i cant deny it, but i love my little kitty.
okay shes really not that little anymore but she isnt even a year old yet, so in my book shes still a kitty.
shes practically my best friend, i tell her all my secrets and she listens. not like she really has a choice but she makes a great best friend. shes always there by my side.
i love it when you come rub up against my leg when you want a little lovin'
you can be quite annoying sometimes though. i really hate it when you come to my door at 3 in the morning and start whining, you usually wake me up. i also dont like it when you scratch on the couches and ruin them.
but over all i think your pretty adorable (:

and her not so nice side...


365 days.

*warning- this will be a long post

it was exactly a year ago this week when i met my best friend in the entire world.
who is that might you ask?
josh ryan barnett.
me and joshers don't talk much anymore due to a lot of complications and drama and lots of big problems. but josh would be there for me in a heartbeat if i ever needed him. josh is the sweetest, kindest and most respectful guy you will ever meet. he holds the doors open for little old ladies. he once gave his Christmas work bonus to a single mom because she was struggling with money. he gave up his ticket to a play to a single dad so he could watch his daughter preform. watching josh and the relationship he has with his mom absolutely melts my heart. he is at her bedside every second that he can be. josh is one of my heroes. i am a better person today of knowing josh for the short period of time that i got to be around him. the relationship me and josh have is a sweet one, i can look at him and know exactly what hes thinking & feeling. josh can say one word and make me laugh. josh was there for me every second i needed him. one night i was having a bad night and he came and picked me up, as i got into his truck the first thing he said was "start talking." he has always listened to me complain and whine about everything and he never asked for anything in return. he has always been to my shoulder to cry on- literally. josh always knew the perfect thing to say to get a smile on my face. it doesn't matter if i was mad at him, he would still get me to laugh. he is such a sweet, sweet guy that is trying to do his best. he loves his family more than anything on this earth. i loved the nights when he would sit with me and talk about the church, he would tell me stories about how his faith was strengthened and we should share our testimonies with each other. me and josh talked about everything under the sun. he taught me more about life than i had ever imagined. he taught me that there is more to life than material things. he got me into my favorite sport, nascar. he taught me about the country, and the good things in life. he gave me some of my most memorable times of my life. i also love his mom, Donna. she is an amazing lady. she devotes all her time to other people, no matter how sick she is. she is so selfless. i truly look up to her. i wish so badly that she could get better and get out of her bed and go do the things she wants to do. she is a simply amazing woman.
so its been a whole entire year, and this year has been the best year of my life. its also been the worst, hardest and saddest year of my life. you honestly don't know what you have until its gone. and i can say i am truly blessed for being able to spend that time with the Barnett's. now your probably all wondering why i don't see josh anymore? it had nothing to do with him. he didn't hurt me in any way. it was all my fault and a stupid decision i made. and i regret nothing more than what i did. i wish i could take it all back and still hang out at the Barnett's house on saturday afternoons and watch nascar. i miss the Barnett's more than anything on this planet. my heart literally hurts when i think about being at that house. i miss the Barnett's more than anything, they have changed me.
now me and josh don't see each other anymore but we still talk every once in a while and josh is still just as nice to me. even though im the one that messed everything up he still asks me if im doing okay and he STILL listens to all my problems. he still is my shoulder to cry on even if i really cant cry on his shoulder anymore. josh is the type of person that would take a bullet for a stranger. he gets it from his mom. josh has a heart of gold and could never hurt a girl if he tried. he cares about everyones feelings. there are so many things that remind me of the winter i spent with the Barnett's. every time i hear a song that reminds me of them, my eyes fill up with tears and i get the biggest smile on my face. when i think of memories with them, my heart gets heavy and it starts to hurt, yet, im still smiling. 
technically ive KNOWN josh for a whole year. i only got to spend six months of it with him before i screwed everything up. ive only been talking to him for the last six months, and the funny thing is, our relationship hasn't changed that much. we may not be able to see each other but we are still just as close and we still share our secrets and problems. im glad that i have a best friend that can get through any trial with a good attitude about it. if josh wasn't here by my side i would have lost it months ago. im glad he sees things as the glass half full. im so thankful that him and his family were in my life for the time that they were. but im extra thankful for josh still being here for me today.
im also thankful for:
luke watkins
jaden haynie
chris orme
bridger ewell
shawn sorenson
jared barnett
critter barnett
brett roberts
and the whole walkers gang
for making it the best 365 days of my life.

this is the first night i ever met josh
my favorite picture of us

willy and josh and me

me and josh at corn bellies for the corn maze

the biggest crack in his windshield that angie made

trying to get all 4 of us in the picture. FAIL

could always make me laugh.

like a little kid in a candy store.

loved nothing more than washing his truck

driving in the old pick up with angie

just lounging haha

the redneck thunder.

trying on masks at the halloween store

me and angie with our big brother

me and angie decorated his room

oh my smile...

trying to get all 4 of us

baby barnett

i love you & and i miss you more than anything big country
im sorry for what i did to ruin everything.
thank you for staying by my side through all of this
and thank you for staying strong when i couldnt.
you are my hero.
thank you for everything.
Big country
big sexy
big barnett
dale jr
and joshers.


i have a stalker. maybe its not quite a stalker but its what me and Shannon like to call it. i wont say names but we will call him "Doug."  Doug is madly in love with me. like MADLY in love with me. the strange thing is, ive only met him twice. for less than a few hours at a time.
lets start from the beginning.
so i met this kid named Tyler, Tyler has a friend which is Doug.
me and Shannon went to go meet Tyler, and Tyler brought along his friend Doug.
the night went fairly well and we got along fine. i guess Doug was really into me and at the end of the night he asked for my number, theres no harm in that right? well i gave it to him and what a mistake that was. he hasn't left me alone for about the last month. he has been pestering me constantly to come and see him i usually come up with an excuse. but for some reason Doug wont give it up, you should read some of the texts he sends me, they are WAY over the top cheesy! he thinks were going to get married, yeah right. anyways today Doug bought me a present. (and keep in mind ive only met him twice) i was actually surprised that a guy would buy me something. i usually don't get presents from people unless its a special occasion but i was almost excited to be getting a random present from Doug. so i saw him tonight  so i could get my present...
low and behold.

he thinks i'm a cowgirl!

its bedazzled

genuine leather (:

ya know, it was real nice of him to think of something like that. and i really do appreciate it. but i think its a little odd how ive only met him twice and i hardly know him and hes already madly in love with me. and do be honest, im not that into him. hes a nice guy though and im really flattered that he did this.
that belt cost $85... or so he says.

who knows whats in store for me and Doug.