10.03.2010

moving on.

this weekend was a good one i must say.
i had two bon fires and i made alot of new friends.
ya know, ive realized that things happen in the past so better things can happen in the future. 8 months ago i was a total mess. and i honestly thought my life was going to stay like that forever. and now i look back and im glad it happened because ive grown so much. i look back now and i cant even believe the way i acted and the way i handled the situation i was in. now i can look at that situation with an outside view and i am so thankful god made me go through that trial. im so thankful that he made me go through that because if i didnt, i never would of realized what a bad person that guy is. yes this trial does have to do with a boy, but it wasnt your normal break-up. only a few people really know what happened but most of you didnt even know i was in a relationship. anyways 8 months ago i was so blind. i thought everything about him was so perfect and that we would be happy forever. how pathetic of me. once my parents put an end to my friendship with him i literally broke down. he had been my best friend for so long and we talked about everything under the sun. i didnt go to school for days and i didnt talk to my parents for about a month. i was battling depression and i honestly didnt want to wake up in the morning. i didnt know what i was going to do with myself without that boy in my life. now 8 months later i look back and i am SO thankful my parents and god put an end to it. he isnt a good guy, hes been making bad choices for a while now and is no longer a member of the church. some days i miss him and i want to talk to him and i still think about him sometimes. a piece of my heart still loves him but i know that things will never be the same between us. im glad trials happen and i know they happen for a reason. i still struggle some days to be happy about all of this. but its days like this when i hear gods right hand men speak to me and i know things are going to turn out okay. hopefully things with that boy turn out okay too, he will always have a special place in my heart but for now, i just hope he starts on a better path to life and starts making better choices. i wish him the best of luck where ever he goes in life.
and as for me, i know my life is looking up.
who knows, maybe one day our paths will cross again.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

just know that where ever you go, you are loved and are a great person. i know i look up to you. you've have had to have a lot of courage to go through with this. i remember last year, and i wish i could have helped. it's funny how God works things out. you are just too great of a person to be with someone who will drag you down. and He probably knew that, so he had to prepare your heart earlier and harder but so that you wouldn't have to deal with this stuff now. and melia, your better off. your a great person who i love. i wish you so much in life because you deserve it so much. good to move on, but i know he will always be in your heart. chin up darlin'. you'll be okay. "your doing better than you think you are." i know i love you melia. your a great example. never forget that.