how lame

sometimes you make such great much progress, only to fall back into square one again.
after months & months of recovery and moving on, here i am yet again back to the place i began because of my stupid mistakes. im so frusterated right now.
why cant we just pause life and rewind it back to october, november and december of 2009. those were the most perfect days of my life. i honestly wish it was either back in 2009 or ten years forward in my life. im so sick of this situation that im stuck in. it feels like im going to be in it forever, i honestly feel no way out.
so here i am, back in square one.
i am so dumb sometimes. 

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