its a good feeling

i have spent the whole day at stake youth conference, which has been a freaking blast. when i got home at ten tonight, there was a letter sitting on my counter. with my name on it. my dad handed it to me and told me to open it. i knew exactly what it was, and i really didn't want to open it. it was my letter from the state letting me know if i had passed the nursing exams. i ripped open the envelope and that's as far as i got before the nerves took over. i felt like i was setting myself up for disappointment. i was expecting the words to say "were sorry, blah blah blah" and i didn't want to face that. i didn't want those hundreds of hours of hard work to go down the drain. so i set the letter back down on the counter and let the emotions take over. i was too scared to look at the letter. i stared at it for a few minutes, and tried to prepare myself for the disappointment. then i got thinking, "well, you gave it a fighting chance so if you didn't get it or not, its still okay." and then i started thinking some more "you worked countless hours at this. you kicked nursings butt. you passed your midterms with 100%. you got an A in the class all semester. you studied, and you know this." so, i picked up the envelope, shook the letter out of it and was careful not to let the letter unfold. i closed my eyes and shook the letter until it came unfolded and i peeked with one eye, where i saw the words congratulations. a sense of relief came over me. the first real time when I've ever felt the feeling of accomplishment. i felt good about something, and i finally had accomplished a goal of mine. i am now a utah nursing assistant, and i couldn't be happier. hard work does pay off kids.
i don't know what creeps are on blogger, they don't need my address!

1 comment:

mardiiiii said...

girl. this is the best news ever.
i am so incredibly proud of you.
you worked your butt off.
dearest, i love you.