anxiety attack

everyone has their first outfit planned out. all their school shopping done, their supplies loaded up and their hair styles decided. not me. the thought of my first outfit hasn't even crossed my mind. i haven't been to the mall once this entire summer, and frankly i don't plan on going school shopping. not a single pencil has been purchased and id be perfectly fine if i went to school with wet hair. here's the truth, i dont want to think about school starting because id rather just press pause on my life. tonight, me and angie went to del taco. we sat there well after the restaurant had closed just to sit and talk. we talked about our past, the present and most important our future. we realized that at this exact time next year, we will be sitting in our new dorm rooms. i don't know what the future holds. i don't know if me and angie will go to college together. and it makes me sad. angie has been by my side for six years. ever since the beginning of 7th grade we've been attached at the hip. its been no easy road for us, but i love her so much. back in the 7th grade i never imagined that the time would come when we had to depart and go our separate ways. but it hit the both of us tonight while we were talking and neither of us liked the idea. i cant imagine a life without angie. reality really slapped me in the face. things will never be the same way again. this is the last year of my teenage life. next year, my real life begins whether angie is there or not. i sure hope we go to college together, because i probably couldn't make it through school without her. i honestly don't ever want to grow up.

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