11.22.2011

best of both worlds

im kinda sad. well scratch that, i am sad. i went to the hospital today for my internship and just expected it to be a normal day. well, i guess i can't really say normal, because every day is different at the hospital. i never know what im going to see. today was one that i wish i didn't have to see. i don't know all the details or the whole story but a mother did some damage to herself, and ended up in the hospital. okay well to put it bluntly, she will be dead by tonight. i cant go into much detail. but i was in her room doing some final care with another PCT. she was alive, but lifeless. it was so obvious to me that her soul had already passed on. yes there was a body there, but no person inside. if you've seen that before, you know exactly what im talking about. its the weirdest thing. i never knew the meaning of "life in your eyes" until today. there was not a single ounce of life left in her eyes. there was no longer a person occupying the body. just distressed breathing. the saddest thing was watching her son in the room, crying. he was about my age. i tried to hold back my tears. whatever the mom did, she did on purpose. i've never been so close to death in my life. it was clear to everyone in the room that the vail was thin. the spirit was in that room, no doubt. i looked at the lifeless body while i changed the sheets, and i knew without a doubt that she was headed to a better place.
i know where she's going, in fact, im sure she's already there. the hospital is a remarkable place, and so are the people that are in it. i'll never forget what i saw in that dark room today and i'll never forget what i felt.

1 comment:

carlee ellen said...

not gonna lie, this made me tear up.
its crazy how some things can make us see life from a whole new perspective.