2.05.2012

finding beauty in negative spaces

last night could have possibly been one of the worst nights of my life. for an entire six hours, not a word was spoken to me from the person i wanted to hear from most. i could have not felt more unloved or unwanted. the expression, "being alone in a crowded room" could not have been more clear to me last night. i felt so alone, and so ignored the entire night. honestly, walking home sounded like a better idea than staying where i was. i don't want to go into details, but me and a person that means a whole lot to me were not getting along. when me and zach finally left, i sat in his truck on the way home and tried my hardest not to cry in front of him. i had to stop talking because i knew if i didn't, i would start to cry. i thought it was over. here i am this morning, thinking over last night trying to remind myself that it was only a bad day, not a bad life. this morning i am thankful for tight hugs from the person i thought didn't want me anymore. i am thankful for late night conversations, where feelings are shared and problems are worked out. i am thankful for apologies and reassurances. i am thankful for zachary, who listens to me whine and feel sorry for myself. i am thankful that even after last night, me and the boy are still best friends. last night was so horrible, but im thankful that we could work it out and in the end bring us closer together. and don't worry, our plans to go four wheeling on my 18th birthday are still going to happen. crisis averted. 

on a brighter note, two positive things did happen last night.
first, i broke a million points in temple run. 
second, i got to test drive my dream truck. 

2 comments:

kelci r said...

when i feel unloved and unwanted by a certain person i just constantly remind myself that God still loves me and wants me. :) just a little something that helps me get through those lonely/sad times

melia said...

thank you for that (: