i'm happy

this summer i've had a lot of time to myself, and i have learned to accept it and deal with it. in the past, alone time has been my enemy. i hated being alone, and i was instantly in a bad mood when i knew i would be spending a night by myself. i am the type of person who loves to go out, who loves to be with people and hates boredom. whiles i still love to go out and be surrounded by friends and action, i have accepted the fact that only i can make myself happy. before i can be happy spending time with anyone else, i first had to learn to be happy by myself. so, this summer i have spent a lot of time working on my patience, and i have taught myself how to be happy on m own. not only have i learned to be happy by myself, i have also learned that being alone is not the end of the world. i used to think that the only way i wouldn't be bored was if i was surrounded by other people and doing things. i have found that is not the case. i can be by myself and still have fun too.

the biggest thing i have learned through all of this is that you will not be truly happy until you can learn to make yourself happy. no amount of friends or guys you know or how many dates you go on is going to make you truly happy until you have learned to be happy alone. YOU are the only person that can make you happy, not others.

it took me so long to learn this and accept it. 19 years in fact. but, this summer has taught me above all that being alone is okay. and not only is it okay, i can be happy while being alone too.


i'm back

i've missed writing. writing has always been a way for me to work out my feelings when the inside of my head got too jumbled. over the last year, i haven't blogged much. my life picked up pace and blogging got pushed to the back burner while i was busy living my life. i've done a lot of thinking and i want blogging to be a part of my life again. i want to make the time to write out my thoughts so one day i can look back and see how much i've grown and changed.

i wont bother going back and writing out everything that's happened over the last few months. they have been months used for maturing, growing and hold memories dear to my heart. some really great things have happened over the past months, and i have written them all out, from start to finish and i had planned on publishing them, but i think i'll keep them in my drafts for now.

with the past in the past, i am going to start blogging about my life in the now. it's time i start writing again because i find that the more i write, the more i learn about myself. i am ready for this.

let's start from today. although many things in my life have changed, i'm still the same old me. for example, today i drove my boss' truck and crafted a little bit for my apartment. i am still melia, i still love the same things but i have also learned a lot of lessons and have set high goals for myself. and blogging is one of them.

so, without further adieu, lets get little country started again.